Ghosts In The Head
by Ashkash
Summary: In a mansion, not very far away from insanity…


Rating: PG or K+ I hope.

Spoilers: Um, well, Ronon's there. Nothing else I think. Also, some parts may remind one of a certain movie where two brothers attempt to catch/kill a mouse. Just shut off your brain for this one. Everything was intentional.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of its wonderful characters.

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**_Ghosts In The Head_**

_In a mansion, not very far away from insanity…_

The centuries old flooring creaked under her as Elizabeth entered the manson's kitchen. She sighed happily. Light coming through the windows from above added to the feel of a lazy morning. However, it seemed she had been the only one who had been lazy, because she saw the backs of John, Rodney, and Ronon as they busied themselves by the black cooker.

"You have no idea what you're doing," Rodney stated, complaining about something.

"And how would you know?" John answered, offended. From the movements of his arms it looked like he was mixing something.

Ronon seemed to be ignoring them and was staying focused on whatever he was doing. She could hear the clinging of metal against each other. Was he sharpening knives? McKay turned to him and became frightened of what the former Runner was doing. "I think we need to rethink this," Rodney said to John, pointing at Ronon. "Look at him! It's disturbing." Dex then smirked at McKay.

"Are you gonna help…" John said, pointing a knife with murderous intent at McKay, "… or continue standing there being an annoying pain in the -?"

Rodney gave in and raised his hands in defeat. "All right. All right." And with a sigh he began mixing. What _were_ they doing?

"Good morning," Elizabeth then said with an amused smirk.

"Morning!" All three answered without turning to her. John raised his right hand and half-heartedly waved in her direction, where she spotted a fork in his hand. She shook her head and turned right to sit at the table, and where she saw Teyla having what appeared to be a very pleasant conversation with five… blue-glowing… men – four of which were… injured. What she was seeing was quite disconcerting.

"Teyla?" Elizabeth spoke, unsure of what was happening.

The Athosian turned to her and smiled. "Good morning, Elizabeth," she said. "Did you sleep well?"

Elizabeth blinked a few times, rubbed her eyes, and then looked again. They were still there. She frowned. "Apparently not."

"Oh, don't worry about them." John then said and Elizabeth looked to him for an explanation for this strange incident. He didn't turn to give her any though. "They're harmless. Meet Hughie, Louie, Dewy, Stewie, and George."

The blue-glowing man with a giant axe in his head smiled and raised his left hand to wave at her. Then, a headless one on his left waved and Elizabeth only just spotted a head on the table smiling at her. And then, one sitting on _his_ left with a leg over the head waved. And then, one with a very crooked neck next to him smiled and waved at her. And _then_, an uninjured one on _his_ left smiled and waved at her – wait, he appeared to be soaking wet. Speechless, Elizabeth slowly sat down next to Teyla, who was on the left of the soaking wet uninjured one. She assumed that they were sitting in the order that John had announced their names, with Hughie all the way at end with the axe in his head.

"I know what you're thinking," the one with the severed head on the table, Louie, said with a knowing smile. Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something but she seemed to lose her voice, only the sounds of her throat attempting to speak could be heard. "I can assure you that there's enough food to go around." he continued. Elizabeth's eyes were saucers. That wasn't exactly what she was thinking. Who the hell were you and what's happening, was what she had wanted to say when she had been trying to find her voice.

"Forgive my brother," George said. "He's lost his mind."

Elizabeth found herself laughing. "That's one way of putting it."

George smiled. In fact he was quite attractive in an old fashioned sort of way. They all looked like they belonged in the 1800s. "You were wondering how we came to be?" George continued.

Elizabeth nodded. "A little," she smiled.

"It was the mouse's fault," the one with the crooked neck, Stewie, said.

Teyla frowned. "The… mouse?"

Louie whistled and the hands of his body picked his head up. The hands then made the head nod before putting it back down on the table. Again, Elizabeth's eyes were wide open in astonishment.

"We were trying to rid ourselves of this mouse who had invaded our house," the one with the leg over his head, Dewy, said while trying and failing to turn. He looked stiff.

Elizabeth, knowing that she hadn't had her morning coffee yet, decided to play along. "What happened?" She knew somehow she was going to regret it by asking. The fact that John, Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla weren't affected by the… _ghosts_ was still irritating her.

"The mouse was evil incarnate," Hughie said. "He drove us to the brink of insanity. He tricked us."

"I accidentally hit my brother in the head while attempting an attack on the vermin," Louie said, looking remorseful as he scanned the table below his chin.

"I told you _not yet_!" Hughie suddenly barked. "But you still swung it!"

Louie whistled and his body picked up his head again, where it was shoved in Hughie's face. "He was on your head! I saw an opportunity." The body then placed the head back on the table. "Anyway, look at what my so called _brother_ Dewy did to me!"

Were they all brothers?

"He tripped me!" Dewy said in his defence, still trying to move his body. Louie blew a raspberry. Dewy then tried to turn to Elizabeth. "He had concealed a rope and I tripped. I fell back, I heard a crack, and my right leg went over my head! I didn't know where the axe had gone to after it flew out of my hand."

The women winced, but they didn't see Rodney and John squat a little as they listened to what had happened to Dewy.

"I slipped on a banana peel and fell down the stairs," Stewie then said. "He planted it there. I could've sworn I heard a squeak of laughter before my inevitable fate."

Elizabeth tried her very best to keep her laughter in. Was he serious? She thought that that only happened in cartoons. Refocusing her thoughts she turned to the one who hadn't said much – George. He smiled. "After discovering their fates and attempting to flee, I tripped on… something… on the bridge outside and fell into the water."

* * *

John's eyes opened and a bright light directly in his face greeted him. Immediately turning to avoid it he tried to focus on the room. He searched blindly for his watch on the bedside table and on finding it he checked the time. His alarm hadn't gone off yet. He had twenty minutes. Grumbling to himself, he got off the bed and began getting ready for the day.

That had been one weird dream.

Later in the morning he entered the briefing room to find his team waiting. Ronon and Teyla were sitting next to each other. Dex had his legs crossed on the table and appeared to be sleeping, and he was also snoring. Teyla on the other hand was staring into space, and Rodney was reading something from his P.D.A. Rubbing his head John took a seat across from Ronon and Teyla and crossed his legs on the table as they waited for Elizabeth.

"How did you guys sleep?" John asked, placing his hands behind his head.

"Fine," Teyla answered, though she appeared to be unsure of her answer.

Rodney made a sound. "Hmm. I dreamt I was attempting to teach you the finer points of making an omelette."

John froze, and squirmed. "I don't know what's more disturbing, you dreaming about me or you cooking." He had a thought of Rodney in an apron with lemons on it and Sheppard shook his head in an attempt to clear the unsettling image.

"That sounds familiar," Teyla then said, making John and Rodney look at her.

Before they could pursue it further Elizabeth entered. On her way to her seat she would be passing Ronon and Teyla, so the Athosian smacked the former Runner on his legs to wake him up.

"I'm up," Ronon immediately and groggily said as his eyes opened. He then removed his legs from the table, and with a look from Elizabeth John did the same.

Minutes later and the briefing came to an end. Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney headed out to gear up but a wide-eyed and confused John Sheppard stayed behind, because he was seeing the five men from his dream smiling and waving at him from the other side of the table.

"Um, Elizabeth?" he slowly said.

"Hmm…" was her answer.

"… I'm seeing dead people."

Maybe that zap from that last mission hadn't been completely harmless...

"Me too," she quickly replied, and John immediately looked at her in disbelief. "I need more coffee."

Definitely that zap...

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**A/N**: Thank you for your time. 


End file.
